No Expectations

{Second shot by Tasha}

I sincerely believe that expectations always lead to disappointment. Maybe because the optimistic side of me is always hyping up a certain book, movie, destination or even person. And when I get to read, watch, get to said destination or know it/him/her, I get let down because I expected more, which ultimately is a lose-lose situation because not only do I feel super bummed, but it's unfair for that person/thing as well. Deep down inside we're constantly wanting to get our socks knocked off our feet and when it doesn't happen, we just go 'Oh, what, that's it?'

Honestly, I hate being let down and throughout my roller coaster ride of 19 years of living, I've learnt to keep my expectations low. Never expecting anything because I cannot stand being let down. For my major exams, I managed to numb my feelings completely till the point where I felt like everything was so surreal. And when it hit me, it hit me hard, in a good way. It's a defence mechanism, for sure. I'm still on the fence whether it's a good or bad thing, but as of now, it works for me.

So I've learnt to not expect anything, it's tough but I try. Occasionally expectations are already there and I do get let down, but it has never been a major issue anymore.

I guess why all of these thoughts are swarming in my head is because of the overwhelming load of information available out there. We read, we watch and we learn, even unwittingly. Information gets processed and that's where expectations arise. As I've been the queen of procrastination as of late, I have been reading a lot of articles and watching a lot of videos, most of the time trying to find out more about life in the States. i.e YouTube videos on dorm rooms, Goodwill/Target hauls etc etc.

This has got to stop. (It'll probably escalate as the countdown reaches 2 months. May God have mercy on us all.)

Till then,
Self control is somewhat within reach.