Dear Tasha: Reflections

{Image credit: Ashley Fenison}

In response to Tasha Iman.

For the past few days, I've realised how insignificant New Year's Eve, New Year's Day and my birthday can be. The weight in which we personally bestow upon these days can be such a huge pressure that is at the end of the day, really unnecessary. Any other day can have that weight of significance to it, I believe. If you wanted to do something so badly, you would have done it already instead of waiting for another day to go by. I know certain things can't happen immediately, but there are steps leading up to it. Instead of waiting around, I want to start doing things in the present, which I think I have been doing in the year 2014. By doing so, positive things came out of it, so I shall do so more in the future.

2014 was a great year. There was a lot of personal growth and achievements. Although, towards the end of it I seem to have lost a sense of being momentarily. I think it's only human to be in doubt of what you want and to fear time. I'm always afraid that I'm not achieving everything I possibly can at this age. That after a certain time, all opportunities will pass me by and I'll regret never doing enough. That's one of my worst fears: not doing enough. That is how I ended up with two internships this semester and two contributing roles for online magazines that I hold in high esteem.

As I read The Happiness Project, it reminded me that I don't have to be good in everything nor do I need to "catch up". The feeling of lost has not completely passed, but I'll figure it out in the long run. A contributing factor of this feeling is not having a place I can go to and call home. Being in a new country with no permanent residence is frightful and before winter break, I had no idea where I was headed and whether I would have a place to stay. I'm lucky in the sense that three lovely people decided to have me during this nomad period. It has been two weeks of living out of a suitcase and certain people and places have started feeling like home.

The future is uncertain and this would all be good stories to tell later on. So, I shall not fret and just embrace what I have, because it's the only thing I really can do.

Till then,
Live.